bowie.

at first, i thought it might be weird to have my own little (public?) dedication to bowie, but then i realized that i don't really care what anyone thinks. it's my little tribute.

i woke up super early to a text from my best friend who lives in europe. she had texted me the sad news about bowie. she must have found out first thing since she's about 7 hours ahead of me. it was so early in the morning that i thought maybe i dreamt it. i woke up to a crazed morning and barely had time to even google it, let alone, watch the news, as some baby show was playing since the twins decided to get up earlier than normal this morning, and baby shows were my saving grace as i was trying to manage our tightly-packed morning routine.

i told chris when he woke up, he thought i was joking. why would i joke about bowie? i got texts/calls/emails from my friends, how sweet. as if it was someone i actually knew. but his death felt too close?

many many years ago, circa junior high?, i stumbled across a pop up video on vh1 for "china girl" and just knew i loved it from there on out. i read about bowie's relations with mick jagger and thought "how weird". weird? my favorite. i've loved his music + art ever since. man, i even remember loving the labyrinth, before i realized who bowie even was. i had to have been so young then.

bowie reminds me of everything. of college. listening to him on my shitty ipod during my all-nighters in college from my illegally ripped music, (i had ALL his albums, sigh). working at a coffee shop in college (1 of many, ha), where we gave 10 cents off coffee if people got our daily trivia right--- the trivia was always regarding bowie when i was working. being inspired by his art for my own design while in college. listening him during my 6 hour + chemo sessions. i even had gotten a brand new macbook decal of bowie as ziggy stardust as a gift, and had an interview for my current job, and needed to show my portfolio, so i sadly took it off in risk of embarrassing myself (why?). man, i've even celebrated his birthday each year, it's like i know him, so that's weird, but whatever. just constantly listening to him. i mean, he has be producing music for over 4 decades now.  i know this is all over the place.

i remember that time (not in college, embarrassingly), that i requested for the dj at this bar to please play some bowie. he thought i was nuts and wouldn't do it. i walked away (drunkenly) crying. ask julie. or don't, actually...

chris & i sing bowie to the girls when we put them to bed! is that weird? i don't care. the girls loved him from the beginning. abby & i went to see the bowie exhibit at the mca last year with liz.  we've shared a love for bowie for many many year. the exhibit? it was amazing, and of course, abs donned her baby stardust onesie. the exhibit was the best, and as liz says, bowie is "magical". he really is. how lucky were we to see his actual lyrics written on pages that were over 20 years old? seeing his actual costumes and designs. liz even got to visit berlin recently, and said it was amazing. i told her that some day soon, her & i need to visit berlin- to feel inspired like bowie did while he was there.  i know that sounds super cheesy, but it's our plan. every time i listen to heroes i can picture myself there.

maybe this is all a weird obsession, but i've found myself to be constantly inspired by bowie. every song. every album. there really is something for everyone. i really admire his ability to express himself in every artistic way, holding nothing back.

you don't even want to know if i have a life-size poster of him-- i won't even tell you if i do.

i literally listened to his black star album on repeat today at work. is it weird that i cried a little in the car this morning? i really thought that some day, i'd be able to see him perform live. it's okay.

i think he left us with an amazing album, and his music will never stop playing for me. shall i leave you with some of my favorites ? (in no particular order)

• sorrow- one of the best
• china girl- my very first song i think i ever remember hearing by bowie
• black star- a new one, that i cant.stop.listening.to
• heroes- classic one, doesn't everyone love it?
• sound & vision- this reminds me of college- of working in the wood shop all day long, and asking this kid who was ALWAYS in there to play bowie. this was played often, and i can remember things from that time so clearly when i hear that song.
• ashes to ashes- this reminds me of college also, but when i was sick. meg and i were roommates at the time, and we always listened to that.
• modern love- another classic, this definitely reminds me of jr high
• andy warhol- don't even know what to say, i love it.
• blue jean- another classic, so 80s
• drive-in saturday- you can NEVER tire of this one
• oh you pretty things- again, just love
• the stars (are out tonight)- his single from his 2013 album, so catchy.
• john, i'm only dancing- who doesn't love it?
• velvet goldmine- LOVE
• golden years- LOVE LOVE
• all the young dudes- i know he wrote it for mot the hoople, but i love his version so much

these are only a small handful of my fav's. is this the weirdest blog post ever? probably. i don't care. bowie would be proud :) haha

i'll leave you with my favorite bowie quote:

"I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human."