Thursday, January 27, 2011

Freaking out and...

This is my way to vent? I have to go for my checkup with my oncologist tomorrow....and I'm a total wreck. Each time I think it will get easier, it seems to backfire and get harder. I was just discussing with one of my lovely cancer-sisters about being a hypochondriac, and it sucks. I think after going through anything as yucky as cancer treatment, you automatically worry about every little thing regarding health. I am always checking for tumors, symptoms, etc. It's bad actually. It's a little crazy, and I know it. But when it comes time for my check-ups, it just gets out of control. If I have a headache, ughh, I'm convinced I have a brain tumor. I swear I can feel a lump in my neck. I know it's all probably not real, but I can't help but freak out. It's insanity. I hope it gets easier down the road, I really do, but so far no luck. I get my results on Feb. 7. I HOPE they're good. If they're bad, and I have to be a bald bride, it's not going to go over so well. So, this is my little spot to vent. Also, asking for your positive energy- could you please send it all my way tomorrow?? :) Here are some photos from my last check-up, sooooo not looking forward to this again :(

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